


The facade remains as well as it has always been

by Maedelmae



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, Hints of hijigin, I'm sorry I ever doubted them, M/M, Pain, Swearing, Tags are actually hard to do, wanting to forget
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 07:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7035628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maedelmae/pseuds/Maedelmae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gintoki just wants to forget his sensei's death. Hijikata was pulled towards the cemetery to visit Okita Mitsubas grave. Hijikata trips over Gintoki's leg while departing. How is he going to deal with the grief-ridden silver-haired samurai?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The facade remains as well as it has always been

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!  
> This is my first fan fiction, like ever. I have actually written it twice, and both times it got deleted so... that sucks.  
> It was shorter than I really wanted it to be but ya know whatcha gonna do?  
> Heh heh  
> I actually really wanted there to be smut, but in the direction it was heading, their pain was just to immense to actually get together.  
> Anyway, thanks for reading!
> 
> Also, I don't believe I mentioned what drug Gintoki was using. It was heroin. Haha get it?  
> I don't know where I'm going with this. Thanks for sticking with me! 
> 
> Enjoy~ ｡^‿^｡

It was a warm autumn evening. The weather was perfect. Not too hot to where you were sweating but not cool enough to need a jacket. It was enjoyable. Hijikata found himself planted at the graveyard's gates. He didn't know why he was even there but he felt a sort of pull as if someone was leading him there. He figured that since he was there, he might as well visit someone's grave, and he knew the exact person to visit; Okita Mitsuba. He took a step forward and placed his hand on the gate, slowly pushing. The gate creaked with each movement. He stepped in when the gate was open enough to accommodate his body as he slipped in like a snake, closing the gate behind him; this time faster and with less creaking. He sighed, and started walking forward. He made his way to the grave and kneeled in front of the wooden pole with her name painted on it. "Tch" he said as he realized he forgot an offering or even a stick of incense. He sat there for what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes. He stood up, tears in his eyes as he remembered the woman he had come to love. He couldn't believe she was gone even though she had died four months prior. He wiped the liquid running down his cheeks as he started to walk back to the entrance of the graveyard. He tripped. He looked back to see why he had stumbled because he would not admit that he tripped on his own foot, and he saw it. A leg. He looked up to see who the owner of the leg was. It was none other than the silver haired samurai that he hated so much, Sakata Gintoki. 

~~~~~

Gintoki's day started off shitty. He woke up with a bad taste in his mouth as he realised what that particular day meant. He wanted to die. He always dreaded this day every year. The anniversary of sensei's death. He wanted to forget about everything, but he knew he had to get up; he had shit to do, places to be, and people to take care of. He got up from his futon and got dressed reluctantly before walking into the main room and sitting in his beloved chair. Thank God it was Shinpachi's turn to make breakfast, Gin didn't think he could handle that task. Kagura was awakening from her sleepy state as she went from her closet to the couch before closing her eyes again. The day was slowly starting despite Gintoki's wish. Shinpachi was almost done making breakfast. Gin picked his nose with his pinky finger as he so often did while unlocking and slowly opening one of his desk drawers and peering inside. The drawer contained a burned spoon, a lighter, a needle, and a bag of white mystery powder. He told himself to hang on until the kids went to Tae's house for the night before he would actually use the contents of the drawer. He quickly shut and locked the door as Shinpachi called breakfast, immediately making Kagura wake up with the scent.  
~~~~~  
When Gintoki arrived home later that night, he called into the vast dark and emptiness spread out in front of him. He walked into the living room, not bothering to turn on the lights, and sat down in his chair. He grabbed the key and unlocked thr same drawer from earlier, but this time, he emptied the drawer, laying its contents out neatly on the desks smooth surface. He grabbed the bag of white powder and slowly twisted it open. He grabbed the spoon and took out a quarter of a spoonful of powder before setting it back down and resealing the bag. He grabbed the spoon once more and flicked on the lighter, holding in under the spoon until it's contents boiled down into a liquid. He transferred the liquid to the needle as he grabbed a strip of cloth and tied it tightly around his left bicep. He uncapped the needle and drove it into one of the veins popping out, slowly pushing down the plunger as he disposed of the needle and put the supplies away and locking the drawer back again. He stood up and shakily walked outside in search of liquor to drink his problems away. 

~~~~~

Hijikata crawled forward, examining the man in front of him. His eyes were open and looking up, supposedly at the waning moon. As he got closer he could smell alcohol on the other ones breath.  
"Why do I have to feel?" The mans question came from nowhere and surprised Hijikata.  
"I don't know. Why do you ask?" He replied  unable to think of anything else to say.  
"No particular reason." The samurai started to laugh hysterically, once again catching the vice captain of the shinsengumi off guard.  
"You should go home."  
"I don't think I can anymore, Mayora." Hijikata hated that nickname.  
"Oi, get up, I'll walk you home." He was surprising himself with how nice he was being.  
"I can't, I don't deserve it." Gintoki's eyes portrayed undying pain, what could have caused this annoying man so much pain, Hijikata wondered to himself.  
"Come on, you're disturbing the person resting here."  
"We know each other, plus he said I could stay as long as I needed." Hijikata looked at the name on the pole. It read Yoshida Shouyou. Hijikata quickly bowed and grabbed Gintoki's arm as he pulled him up. Gintoki winced as he was hoisted up on Hijikata's back. Hijikata looked to the left, noticing track marks on the man's arm.  
"God dammit, what have you done to yourself? You are busting apart at the seams." Hijikata was baffled as he waited for a reply that would never come. He decided to stop waiting as he started walking out of the cemetery and to Gintoki's state of residence. When they arrived, Hijikata dropped the half asleep  man on his futon, undressing him so he could put pajamas on. He watched Gintoki lazily grab the Pajama shirt, slowly unbuttoning it. Hijikata watched each movement, making sure he wasn't going to use anymore that night. When his pajamas were completely on, Hijikata started to walk out of the room.  
"Please don't leave." Gintoki whispered softly. Hijikata turned around. What was he saying? Stay? That's preposterous! Tears started running down the others face. He was being quite pitiful. Hijikata walked back to the futon and sat down next to it, watching the man drift off.  
"Would you hold my hand please?" Hijikata reluctantly grabbed the man's hand. 'How old is he? Asking me to hold his hand until he falls asleep.' Hijikata looked at the sleeping Gintoki. 'He is kind of cute when he is asleep though.' He reached over and brushed hair off of Gintoki's forehead.

~~~~~ 

The next morning Hijikata woke up in an empty room. He stood up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he walked into the adjoining room. Gintoki was already dressed and making breakfast as if nothing from last night ever happened. They sat down together, had a silent meal, and both left, each going his separate way.


End file.
